Hard Conversations on Racism

As promised in my last post, I'd like to devote the next few posts to specific topics and try to give some practical advice on how to have those hard conversations.  Again, I want to preface this by saying that I am not an expert on these topics.  A lot of times I feel like I'm still learning and trying to grow my own awareness and understanding.  I just want to share with you some things we've learned along the way to hopefully encourage and give you some ideas to incorporate into your family.

With that said, today's topic is racism.  I think a lot of times we can approach a hard topic with thinking only about our own experiences.  However, that can really limit our understanding and perspective.  So a good starting point can be to expand the voices in your life.  Maybe you read a book, listen to a podcast, follow someone on social media who looks different than you, who has had life experiences different from your own.  This is a good place to start as an adult but also in your home and in your parenting.  There are a lot of great books that talk about skin color and the beautiful differences in how God made us.  I think that can be a great way to build your kids' awareness and appreciation of people who look different from them.  Some books that our family loves:

Books that might be good for ages 4-8

"The Skin You Live In" by Michael Tyler

"I Like Myself" by Karen Beaumont

"God's very Good Idea" by Trillia Newbell 

"One Big Heart" by Linsey Davis

Books you can go through with your kids ages 7 and up

"The Gospel in Color" by Curtis A. Woods and Jarvis J. Williams

Who Was" Series (like this one on Rosa Parks) or pick a biography to read together and discuss (like this one on Thurgood Marshall)

So those are some ways to prepare and build a foundation of talking about race.  However, there are times when you need to have some really tough conversations particularly about the racism that exists in our country, our state, our city, our schools, our neighborhoods, and even at times in our hearts.  It can be a normal tendency to want to shield your kids from that because it's ugly.  But in doing so, we miss an opportunity to educate and also speak to their hearts (and to our own hearts).  

How do you do that? Be honest, use age appropriate language, leave space for questions and point back to the Gospel.  I remember the first time we talked about racism, my kids were appalled.  They couldn't wrap their heads around how someone could have so much hate for someone based on the color of their skin.  It didn't make sense to them and it shouldn't.  Those are hard conversations because it's a painful reality in our world and it's uncomfortable to talk about.  I don't try to make it sound better than it is, but instead I always try to end those conversations reminding them that this is not the way God wants us to treat others.  That we are ALL made in His image and we need to see everyone how Jesus sees them.  Opening up this hard conversation also gives us space to talk about the ways we have gotten this wrong.  When have we treated others in a way that would hurt our Lord?  What do we need to confess and work on?

~Jillian



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